Picking A Super Bowl Winner Solely By The Quarterbacks' Cars

Joe Burrow and Matthew Stafford are set to face off in Los Angeles, but who has the better garage?

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Super Bowl LVI will kickoff at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles in less than two hours. Los Angeles Rams will take on the Cincinnati Bengals to decide the championship of the National Football League. The Rams have the unique opportunity of claiming the Vince Lombardi Trophy in their home stadium.

Though, I’m not here to talk about passing abilities, rushing schemes or secondary coverages. I’m just going to make ridiculous judgments about each team’s starting quarterback based on what’s in their garage. And yes, I will predict which team will win the Super Bowl without mentioning any player’s recent on-field performances.

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Joe Burrow
Joe Burrow
Photo: David Eulitt (Getty Images)
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Joe Burrow

Joe Burrow, the Bengals starting quarterback, grew up in southern Ohio and took his team to its first Super Bowl since 1988 in only his second season in the league. Burrow has a Porsche Taycan as his daily driver. He has also signed a deal to be an ambassador for Lordstown Motors. The Ohio-based EV startup gave Burrow an early version of its electric pickup truck still in development, the Endurance. Burrow’s relatively modest two-car all-electric garage reflects his status as a local hero and the franchise’s future.

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Matthew Stafford and his wife Kelly Hall
Matthew Stafford and his wife Kelly Hall
Photo: Christian Petersen (Getty Images)

Matthew Stafford

Matthew Stafford, the starting quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams, is a 13-season veteran of the NFL. This season might be Stafford’s first in Los Angeles, but his garage fits right into Hollywood. With $239 million in career earnings, it’s not surprising that he has a Rolls-Royce Wraith and a Bentley Continental at home. Stafford also owns a Ferrari 488 Pista.

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Daily, he drives an Audi Q3, which isn’t the first Audi SUV I’d recommend to be honest. Despite playing for the Detroit Lions for 12 seasons, a Ford F-150 is the only American vehicle he owns. He likely received the F-150 during his time promoting the pickup in TV commercials.

I’ll have to give the game to Joe Burrow and the Cincinnati Bengals. Sure, Stafford’s collection is flashy. But how does someone play for Detroit more than a decade and only own one American car? And, the Ford F-150 might have been acquired free of charge. Based on his cars, Burrow seems forward-minded and loyal to where he was raised. Will Joe Burrow and the Bengals actually win Super Bowl LVI? I have no idea.